


The Changing of the Dawn

by missema



Series: Sacraments [6]
Category: Saints Row
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Saints Row 1, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 10:53:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3324854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missema/pseuds/missema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The end is near for the Saints, but Troy isn't sure that Elle will want to leave, especially once she finds out about him.  Elle doesn't want to lose Troy, but is overwhelmed by what the truth will do to their relationship.  It all comes to a head for them right before she meets Alderman Hughes on his boat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Two days before the fatal bombing of Mayor-Elect Hughes**

 

"I'm not saying Chief Monroe didn't deserve it, but a lot of cops died too." Troy was upset, chain-smoking and running his hands through his hair. When he thought she didn't see, his hands shook. Elle hated seeing him like this, but wasn't sure what she could do. Comforting him was never easy, he would be hot and cold, shunning her attempts while trying to extract kisses from her. She preferred to stay until he calmed down, and that's how their fights usually ended.

"Troy, it's done. If you're waiting for me to express regret..." Elle shrugged and rolled her eyes heavenward. "Look at the position that corrupt cop put me in! Winslow was from the Row and made good. He shouldn't have had to die, but that's what was ordered. The only way to end it, to stop more requests to the be the bound goon of Hughes was to get rid of Monroe, so I did. At least Julius is safe now."

He stood as far away from her as he could get in his kitchen, his body turned away as if it were repelled by her. The ashtray on the counter next to him held eight cigarette butts - the one in the bedroom was overflowing. Elle understood why this had bothered him so much, but there was no way to say it aloud. Saying it would mean admitting that the lie that brought them both into the Saints wasn't the only thing that bound them anymore. Sometimes, she wasn't ready to admit there was more than just blood and purple between the two of them, because more than that scared her.

"I got some stuff to do." she said, turning away from him so she wouldn't have to see his shoulders slump. He didn't say anything until she was nearly out the door.

"Ellie, be careful." She closed her eyes at his words, almost wincing when he called her 'Ellie'. It was his name for her, no one else ever called her by that name. The first time he did, it almost made her cry.

"I always am." she replied, and nodded at him. She got a small nod back. It wasn't a smile, but it was better than nothing.

#

While Elle was out, Troy had some plans of his own. He had to go to work down at the stations, whether or not he liked it. There would be too many empty chairs there, too many faces that he wouldn't see anymore, but that was always the risk with his job. Would it have hurt less if it were Saints instead of cops? He honestly wasn't sure anymore.

It was more than just what they'd done to the Chief that had him worried and upset. Shit was going down, and he didn't know how the chips were going to fall on this one. As the Saints eradicated the other gangs in the city, they also signed their own death warrant. They couldn't be allowed to continue as a solo operation - they would grow too large and too powerful. What would happen to his case then? To the people he'd come to think of as friends? Troy couldn't stand the thought of Elle being mixed up in that forever, but he wasn't sure if she wanted to walk away from her powerful role. As much as he loved her, and God, he did love Elle, there was so much he didn't know. Would she leave the Saints? Could he convince her? He wasn't sure.

His mind wandered as he drove down the street. Sunshine slanted through the clouds, the day clearing up as he drove. It looked like one of those pictures that had holy light shining down on it, but the light wasn't falling on him. For a brief moment, he wished it would, but then thought better of too much celestial scrutiny. He didn't need it or any other kind, not with his investigation coming to an end. That thought brought him back to Elle, and his tired mind gave another shot at how to save her from all this fallout. There was no telling when he'd see her again in private, but Julius could talk to her. No matter what, she still listened and looked up to the old man. Half of this mess they were in now was to keep him safe. Monroe had used her loyalty to make her into Hughes' bludgeon. He couldn't mourn Monroe, not after that.

She'd left him, again, when they'd argued. Elle always left, preferring silence to confrontation. It was so at odds with the way she acted outside of their relationship, but he supposed it was better than violent fights and vengeance. They always made up anyway, and that was the best part. Troy grinned unconsciously as he drove down the street, but it slipped from his face as quickly as it appeared. His words wouldn't be enough, especially not if he admitted he was a cop to her. In his mind's eye, he could see her turning away from him for good after that revelation, the truth a hard betrayal in her eyes. Julius had to convince her to drop her flags for her own sake, because he wasn't sure he could.

He drove faster towards the precinct.

#

Her cousin April's house was the same as it always was: warm, too small and a little worn, but comfortable. For a while she'd even lived there, but there was no need now. Elle stayed into the evening, having dinner with the family, playing with her nieces, sitting around and avoiding the questioning looks her cousin her husband sent her. When it came time to put the girls to bed, April let Elle tuck in both of them and then ordered her to the kitchen. It was time for the interrogation.

A mug of coffee was put in front of her, and then April waved off her husband, who went to sit in front of the television. He'd worked earlier in the day, a double shift. April told her sotto voce that he was never comfortable taking the money she sent them, so he put it away for the girls. Elle approved, but wished that they would spend a little on themselves. She'd tried to make he money seem more like a repaying of the debt she owed them from living in their house for years, but neither April nor her husband wanted to call it that. So she just sent it anyway and let them decide what to do. The dim sound of sports highlights gurgled from the living room, indecipherable from where she sat at the round, scrubbed wood table.

"When are you going to tell me about him?" April demanded, and Elle almost spit out her instant coffee.

"About who?" Elle asked, thrown off and using the question to regain her thoughts. The question she had been expecting was more along the lines of 'Did you kill Mayor Winslow and the Chief of Police?' She had a defense ready for that one, which was stoic silence. She hadn't thought she'd be asked about Troy. Not that April knew it was Troy.

"Whoever's got you glowing like a firefly. I get it, you're in love, lil bit. You don't have to hide it." April's voice was teasing but interested. She looked up at her cousin, then looked away. The face that looked back at her was still so pretty, thought she looked far more tired than she used to, before Elle joined the Saints.

Elle examined her mug, tracing the rim of it with a slender finger while thinking of an answer. It was still too hot to drink. Instead of anything polished or articulate, she blurted out the truth. "I met this dumb white boy. He has a dumb haircut and stupid goatee. He smokes too much and eats at Freckle Bitch's all the time even though he has a perfectly good kitchen. He's wonderful. And he makes me laugh and treats me like a queen."

The smile on April's face widened so much that when Elle looked up, it was all she could see. "If he's so great, why are you here?" April asked.

"Walked out when he was upset today." Shame washed over Elle as she said it. She realized that she was always the one that walked out. Troy waited, for now, but how long could she keep doing it? Why would she want to?

"About some shit that you did?"

"Yeah, well. Not just me. Things. Shit's getting hot in the Row, you know that. He doesn't like how it's going down."

"Well, that makes two of us. I like him better and better already." April went to take a swig from her own mug, but it was empty. She scooped up Elle's mostly empty mug with her own and made both of them more coffee. As she stirred she said, "Why'd you leave, lil bit? If you love him, and it's clear you do, why not listen to him? He sounds like he wants to keep you safe."

"Because." Elle put her hands over her face, sliding them up and over her visage until she cupped her whole face in her hands. When she lowered them she said, "I have to see this through."

April slammed the mug back down in front of her. "It's decaf this time." she said as an aside. "No you don't. You don't have to see through some bullshit that ain't really about you. Go home to this fantastic white boy. Tell him you love him, because I bet you haven't told 'im, even though it's obvious, way you been looking these past months. Stop walking out on him. Give him the same chance he's been trying to give you."

Elle got up, her second mug of coffee untouched. "I'll tell him you said hi."

"Do that, and bring him for dinner one of these days."

She smiled at her cousin for the first time since she'd come over. There had been plenty of smiles for her nieces, but none otherwise. "I will. He'd like to meet all of you. He's mentioned it a couple of times. Tell Mike I said goodnight, eh?"

April reached out to her, and Elle let her administer one of her crushing hugs. It was always like this with April. Her cousin had been the one to pick her up and help her reform a life after her mother died. April always looked out for her, as overprotective and strong as she was generous. She kissed her cousin on the cheek and let her go.

"Hey lil bit, what's your man's name?" April asked softly as Elle was leaving the kitchen.

"Troy." Elle said, smiling as she answered.

"Look at you. Go on then, get back to _Troy_  and have a goodnight." April waved her off, then began putting dishes into the dishwasher. Elle heard her humming as she left the house.

#

Julius had gotten under his skin. It made him irritable and unhappy with the way things played out. Troy sat at his desk for the first time in a long time. There was no one there to stop him, and Julius already knew who he was. There was work to finish, even if he hadn't gotten exactly what he'd wanted from the questioning. Troy rolled his neck and back, trying to loosen the knotted muscles. He could shake this off - he wasn't a rookie.

"I'll be damned, Dex was right. You are fucking the playa." Julius had grinned at him from across the interrogation desk as he said it.

"Whatever you say, Julius. There's still the small matter of you guys dropping your flags. There's more than enough to destroy the Saints, but I'd rather not arrest my friends." He'd rehearsed the speech in the car, but it wasn't coming out the way he'd intended.

"So you want my help. Your girl doesn't know you're a cop, and you want her to quit while she can, but saving her would mean blowing your cover. You want me to do it for you, have I got that right?"

Troy's eyes flicked upward, betraying his frustration as he drew in a steadying breath. "You can convince her and Johnny to drop their flags. The other gangs are gone - there's nothing left for the Saints to protect now. Anything else would just make you into another version of the Vice Kings. You know that. C'mon Julius, I'm trying to help everyone out here."

But the rest of his entreaties hadn't gotten him any further, Julius just sat there chuckling at him and shaking his head. Without Chief Monroe's order to hold him, he'd be out on bail and back on the street soon. Troy had about another day to get to Elle before Julius and explain things before the old man would get the jump on him and start spilling his secrets. Whether Julius would tell her wasn't a question. That small betrayal was certain, it would give the gang leader the upper hand. If Elle would believe Julius was another matter altogether. She had no reason not to, but Troy thought that how she felt about him might color how ready she was to hear the truth.

That morning, they'd done it again. They fight, she calmed up and cooled down elsewhere, walking away while he was still angry. Troy ran a hand through his hair, uneasy about the way to approach the problem. Julius might convince her to drop her flags or to turn on him. It seemed better than he could manage. His mind was filled with her closed face regarding him for the last time before she walked out of his apartment and life forever. Then he'd have to find her, arrest her, or worse. Not for the first time, he questioned his wisdom in falling in love while undercover, but it didn't matter now. The truth would come out sooner or later, and it was just up to him how and when.

Troy checked his watch. It was much later than he'd guessed, but that happened when he was knee-deep in paperwork. There were a lot of reports to be filed, and he had to make sure to cross every 't' and dot every 'i' now that Monroe was gone. There was sure to be some internal review and with his place in the Saints, his reports would be at the forefront. It wasn't the time to skip out, regardless of his own desires.

He'd call her later, and go from there. Foreboding rippled through him, but he set it aside. There was nothing else he could do.


	2. Chapter 2

**One day before the death of Mayor-Elect Richard Hughes**

 

Elle tried calling Troy after she went to his apartment and he wasn't there, but he wasn't picking up his phone either. She didn't have a key; she was never in his apartment when he wasn't. That was another thing she wanted to talk to him about, but it could wait. That might be one of the details that worked itself out once they had their big talk. She went back to the Lopez mansion, because she felt like shooting and there would be a lot of people around. If she couldn't have Troy, she needed noise and not to get too lost in her own thoughts. If she sat there and let her mind stay focused on him and all the things that needed to be said, she would lose her nerve.

The next morning her phone rang early enough to wake her up from where she'd passed out. Her voice was groggy as she picked up, but she perked up at Troy's hello.

"You called me last night. I was busy." he said evasively, but Elle didn't press him.

"It's okay. Can I see you?"

"Right now?" he asked, and she looked down at herself. Her clothes were slept in and rumpled, and she wasn't sure what state the rest of her was in. The Lopez mansion had plenty of tacky paintings and few mirrors.

"Tonight." she decided. "For dinner? You cook and I'll come over."

Troy laughed, though it sounded tired and far too thin. "I'll cook." he confirmed. Neither one of them were very good at cooking, but Troy managed more passable recipes than she did.

"Good. I'll bring something decent to drink." she said. This wasn't like them, they usually drank whatever was around or went to Brown Baggers for forty ounces of piss weak lager, but Troy let the comment pass.

"I'll see you around six?" he ventured, and she nodded, but then remembered to speak after a moment.

"Yeah." Elle said. She hung up without a goodbye, because the longer she stayed on the phone with him the more she wanted to talk about all the things on her mind, and that wasn't a conversation to have with a bunch of people around.

She eyed the room she'd slept in, noting that there were a few people piled on the floor. A card game was going on somewhere, the sounds drifting to her from down the hall. It was presumably the same one as the night before, when she'd wound up there. She stretched her long limbs in an attempt to ease the stiffness out of them, failed and got up. For some reason she wanted to go back to that shitty little crib that Julius had first set her up in. Blame it on nostalgia, but she went outside and jumped in a car and drove there. Maybe she'd sleep again, then shower and check in with Dex and head out to see Troy. She sang along to the radio as she drove, making up the words to songs she didn't know. Things were feeling better than they had yesterday.

#

"I know you're a cop."

Dex called him the night before and sat that on his shoulders just after he'd talked with Julius, bringing another wrinkle to a truly exhausting day. They'd talked - well, he'd let Dex do most of the talking, and then they'd agreed that Dex was out. Whatever deal Ultor had made him, Troy hoped it was good. Dex had a brilliant mind for strategy. Without him, Julius wouldn't have been half as successful with the Columbians. By this time, Troy had to assume that he'd quietly packed up his stuff and was on his way to work for Ultor. He would need to check eventually, but he needed sleep first.

His head throbbed with pain, making his vision swim. God, he hadn't ever thought that it would go like this at the end. It was the end, he was sure of that. The Saints, they couldn't survive any longer, not with all that they'd done. He had enough information to bring them down, and losing Dex would be a blow. Hopefully Johnny and Elle would drop their flags peacefully, but he wasn't sure about it. Troy sighed and put down the coffee cup he'd been raising to his lips. No more coffee. There had been too many cups of the sludge from the police station last night, and here he was, back again that next morning. Paperwork was piling up on his desk, but his mind wasn't on it.

It was promising that Elle wanted to talk to him after yesterday. Julius hadn't gotten to her yet, but as of that morning he was free. He had to get to her, to talk to her, that evening. She didn't normally come around so quickly, and Troy wondered if she too were feeling the press of things, the pressure of an unknown catastrophe looming just over them.

God, how had things gotten so fucked up? At first it had just been about stopping gang warfare in the city, and with the VK's already working with them, the police had just needed more eyes on the inside. The Saints were up and coming, looking for members and not prone to being picky. Other gangs in Stilwater were too established, although for a time they'd had an informant in the Carnales. She wound up tossed in front of the station from a moving car after they shot her. Troy knew that this work was dangerous, that it might get him killed. He was always on his guard, looking for the person that knew too much, that aimed to set him up, but then Elle had come along, fulfilling dreams he hadn't known he'd harbored until she kissed him. Ever since then, there had been two of them to protect, and he'd forgotten to keep a close eye on his own back.

Dex had seen too much, but kept most of it to himself. Even if he hadn't been with Elle, Troy believed that Dex was canny enough to have figured him out. He was smart enough to see all of the angles, and he was the only person that Troy worked closely with, the sole member of the Saints that might have seen his few mistakes. Besides Elle, but if she'd seen anything, it was because he let her.

He picked up a cigarette and lit it. With one deep pull, he took in all the smoke he could and held it, then blew it out in one prolonged breath. There was an old joke around the station, that whenever a politician tried to ban smoking in the police station, that's when they got voted out of office. He took inhaled again, giving the nicotine time to work its way in and calm his nerves. Troy picked up the phone and scrolled down to Dex's number. When he pressed connect, he immediately got an out of service message.

"Good, good." he muttered to himself. Another detective looked up from his desk and nodded at him.

"Getting close to wrapping this one up, Bradshaw?" he asked.

"I hope so." Troy replied. "Got a strange feeling though, like some shit's about to go down."

"Go with it. Your gut's never wrong, especially when you've been working as long as you have on this case." the other detective said. He was an older man, in his late forties or early fifties, and had curly grey hair that was thinning on the top. Troy wondered for a moment what he was working on, then decided not to ask.

"Yeah." Troy said. "I know you're right. Go with your gut. First thing they teach you."

"Hasn't let me down yet." The detective winked at him and then turned away, back to whatever he'd been working on before. When Troy passed his desk, he looked down and saw a snapshot of Legal Lee and one of his disreputable clients. He sighed. Another day in the Stilwater PD.

#

The phone rang again on the dresser, but Elle ignored it in favor of the shower. It would probably be another Saint, looking for her to give them direction or something since Julius was still in the detention cell at the police department. She'd promised herself a very long, thorough shower and prep period before she went to see Troy. There were things they had to discuss, and she wanted to feel at her best.

That afternoon she'd gone out and bought new clothes. They weren't anything altogether special, but almost none of her money since she'd become a Saint had gone to new clothes or anything for herself. She kept it, sent it to April, or fixed up her cars, since she was always driving and getting in and out of scrapes.

This time it had been fun to indulge herself, buying all new things, just for her. There was even makeup among her purchases, picked after letting the woman at the cosmetics counter carefully put on a few products and showed her how to do it on her own. Elle had never had any interest in clothes and makeup before, since her mother had been sick around the age when the other girls in her class had begun experimenting with it, and then after that she'd lived on the street for a while until April found her. There had never been a carefree time in her life after her mom passed, every day had been its own struggle until she fell in with the Saints. It was still tough, but there was more leeway now, time that she wasn't concerned with what comes next or where her rent was going to come from. And there was Troy.

She'd never been in love before, but she sure as hell was now. The urge to run away from all the overwhelming feelings and the man who caused them was strong. When things got rough, she ran. It was how she survived for so long without people to help her. She never got in over her head. It went against everything she'd learned living on her own. Run to avoid the conflict, but running would mean leaving Troy behind. She couldn't do it, not this time, not after talking it through with April.

As she stepped out of the steam of the shower, she thought about what this night would mean. Either he would send her away or they'd stay together, with all that it entailed. How it would work out didn't matter to her, just that it did. Troy was nothing she'd expected liking for as long as she did, and there had been no thought that her feeling for him would grow to run so deep. All because of a moment of interest when he'd come to visit her back when she'd first joined the Saints. It brought a smile to her face.

When Elle deemed herself ready to go, it wasn't quite six o'clock, but she couldn't sit around anymore. Her hair was braided in the front but out in the back, picked out until it was as soft and round as a cotton ball. She had on lipstick, eyeliner and mascara and it made her face look surprisingly sensual. The new clothes were dark blue jeans that actually fit her long legs and narrow waist, paired with a plain black halter top. There was a bottle of wine she'd gotten for tonight too, but the brown bag with the alcohol in it was already in her car. She grabbed her new purse - the only other she'd owned was a workhorse of a leather bag that April had passed down to her - and put her essentials in it, and was ready to go.

She drove her best car to Troy's place. It felt like a night to try and go all out, at least it did to her. Since she'd walked out, she wasn't sure how Troy was feeling. Man, if there was ever one thing she regretted, it was leaving the other morning. Yeah, she'd seen April and the kids and had some fun, but it had been avoiding what was between her and Troy. At least now she could make up for it, start acting like an adult instead of a scared teenager. This was real and she had to push through the bad times and stick with him if she wanted them to last.

Them. That was what she wanted. For the two of them to go on. Maybe they would get that date in Steelport they always joked about. The radio blared out music, but nothing seemed to soothe her. Nerves, she supposed. There wasn't time to think on it, because she was at his apartment and knocking on the door just two minutes before six.

"Hey, you're ri..." the words died on Troy's lips as he let her in and took a look at her. The apartment smelled like tomato sauce and garlic. "You look amazing. Far too good to be sitting in my apartment eating pasta." he said. He was wearing his familiar purple shirt and jeans, and the sight of it further exasperated her. She wanted no more lies between them, but they had to go about this the right way.

Elle just kissed him, bringing him close and letting her mouth do the apologizing that had been on her mind all day. His arms folded around her, hands splayed and warm on her bare upper back. He tasted like tomatoes and red wine and she nearly laughed against his lips. Could she have this forever? Did she have the courage to ask him tonight even though there was so many things between them?

When she pulled away, she took a deep breath and a step back from him. "Troy, I just want to say I love you before we get into any of this."

"You love me?" he asked, looking dazed and wearing some of her lipstick. The bronze smudge just made his mouth look dirty. The bemusement didn't last long, and he narrowed his eyes at her as Elle fought to select the right words. "Any of what? What's going on, Elle?"

"Are you going to arrest me?" she asked, voice so quiet that it was hard to make out. "Detective?"

The expression on Troy's face went from suspicious to angry to ashen in just a few moments. "Not you too. Damn it." he said, covering his face with his hands. When he looked back up at her, he shook his head. "No, I'm not going to arrest you. How did you know?"

She shrugged. "Lot's a of little things. Your shoes are always laced wrong, which is an old street cop trick to pass messages. You stiffen when you answer some of your calls, and you never ever let anyone see your phone. The questions you ask aren't the kind you ask when you grow up around here, so I'm guessing you aren't from the city, but you never talk about your past. There's a spare key to your apartment in your drawer that has my name on the keyring, but you haven't given it to me yet, and you never leave me alone in here. I figured it was because when you were done hiding, you'd want me here. But I had to work out what you were hiding."

He didn't speak and she went on, "also, you never shoot to kill when it's cops. It's always wide when you do shoot. When Price killed Lin, I called you and the police came before anyone else. Then, there's all the little places you hide things, locked drawers and the strongbox in your closet. You talk like you have nothing to hide, but you live like a man with secrets." She stopped and looked over at him. Troy was staring hard at her, unsmiling and strained. "But I love you anyway. So whatever deal you've got worked out with Julius, I'd appreciate you letting me in on it."

"You didn't talk to him?"

"No, the only call I got was from Hughes. He wants to meet on his boat tomorrow night before some event so we can 'work out our relationship". Right."

"I didn't know about that." He was immediately suspicious, but then again, she had been too.

"Relax, I don't plan on becoming his hired gun. Which is why I said what I said about you, detective."

"Don't call me that." Troy growled, glaring at her as he did. His temper rarely asserted itself, but it was poking out at the worst possible time. He was getting worked up, but that hadn't been her intent. His anger fed hers and she was upset that he hadn't replied to her declaration of love. So she bit back at him, her uncertainty giving way to disappointment.

"Isn't that your title?" she asked with mock innocence. "Or are you a sergeant slumming it?"

"Elle, shit. Let me turn off the food." He got up without looking at her and went back into the kitchen. She followed, then stood against the wall on the other side of the room and crossed her arms over her chest.

"What do you want from me?" he asked and got a frown from her. Hadn't she already been over that?

"Troy, just tell me the truth." she said, and he nodded absently in her direction. Now that she'd confronted him, he wanted to confess, he was just getting it together in his mind.

It took a minute for him to gather himself, so he drained the pasta and turned off the sauce. He hadn't yet toasted the garlic bread, so he just turned off the oven. He went to get the bag she'd brought and left near the door. When he came back, he took out a glass and opened the wine, but wound up just taking a swig from the bottle.

"I never meant to fall in love with you. I do love you, and that's the truth. It was never part of the job between you and me."

"That's good to hear." she said, her insides inflating at his admission. She tried and failed to keep the smile from her face.

"But Julius doesn't have any deal that I know of. I thought he would call you today, since he got out this morning. I offered to let him and you and Johnny walk if you dropped your flags, but he didn't give me an answer one way or another."

"Why didn't you offer me that?" Elle asked, confused.

"Because the last time I saw you, you'd walked out on me again! I thought you would hate me when it came out that I was a cop, so I asked Julius to convince you."

This time it was Elle that was struck, overcome. She sat down at the table. "I went to see my cousin, April. She knew I'd fallen in love with someone and got tired of waiting for me to tell her. I told her about you, and then she told me I was being stupid to walk out and to tell you that I loved you. So here I am." Elle looked up at him, her eyes filling with tears. "But there were other things between us that needed to be said too. Oh, and she wants you to come to dinner, provided we're still together after tonight."

She almost never cried, but all of the ups and downs of the night were wearing on her. All of that anticipation and arguing was wearing on her already frayed emotions. Everything since Julius had been arrested caught up to her, and mascara stained tears leaked from her eyes.

"No, don't cry, sweetheart." Troy was next to her in a heartbeat, so quick she didn't hear him cross the kitchen. He wiped her tears away with a kitchen towel. "Look, if you want to leave the Saints anyway, I got nothing to arrest you for." He drew in a breath and gave her a small, crooked smile. "This isn't the way I pictured dinner, but you're still hungry, right?" he asked, cupping her face in his hands. Elle nodded.

"Then we can eat and talk." he said.

She had a different idea and when he leaned in for a soft kiss, she pulled him closer. The kiss grew deeper, and went from sweet to heated after her tongue met his. He stood up and she kissed him again, but this time his lips were just as aggressive as hers. The taste of her own lipstick peppered their kiss, fading as it wore away between their friction. When Troy put a hand under her ass and lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around him and let him carry her to the bed.

#

With her long legs wrapped around him and Elle's mouth sucking at his neck, Troy felt like a king. He wasn't going to lose her after all. All day long, the fear had grown within him until it filled him up. When she'd come in and confessed that she loved him, he had one bright second before he realized what she was leading up to. Troy laid her down on the bed and let himself fall on top of her. Then again, that hadn't gone so badly either, considering it led them to this.

He kissed her until she squirmed breathlessly underneath him, then withdrew to take off his clothes. Hers came off easily, top and jeans, underwear still somewhere inside of her pants and no bra under her shirt to be bothered with. Her clothes dropped into a heap on the floor with his. They'd done this part so many times before, shuttered windows, locked doors, just the two of them. He wondered what it would be like in the future, when it wasn't a secret anymore. There wasn't too much time for him to speculate, because her hands were demanding his return to the bed and the present was much more enticing than an imagined future.

It was slow between them, but no less heated for the slowness. There were more kisses, her mouth trailing along the line of one shoulder to offer kisses to his neck and collar until he turned it back on her. Troy made sure to look into her eyes more often, to confirm what had been there for so long - she did love him. After all the violence and danger, this felt too pure to have been born of the same place. But that was one of the great ironies of life, he supposed as he set to work kissing the small of her back.

In the same time frame where he'd been investigating a new and deadly street gang, he'd also learned about her. A woman whom he loved and respected, who gasped under the touch of his hands as they rolled and pinched her nipples as he kissed her back. When she'd arrived tonight, wearing new clothes and makeup, he hadn't realized what it meant. She was at her best, trying to save what she could of their relationship as the foundation crumbled under them. She deserved more, he knew, and he would spend all the time he could making it up to her. Elle was worth it.

With his chest pressed to her back, his hands were free to go wherever they wanted while he kissed her. Troy let them drift over her with his eyes closed, using touch to memorize every part of her. She sat naked between his legs, her ass against his erection, leaning into his touch. Her hands reached behind her to touch him, long sweeping caresses over his thighs and legs and whatever else she happened to reach. Elle's heart beat in time with his own; he could feel them both thudding as he raked his teeth over her shoulder.

Troy nipped at the side of her neck, just to hear her gasp again. He would never tire of hearing that, not from her. Normally she was so impassive, he would never have guessed she was so expressive during sex. The more he knew her, the more intimate they were, the more he understood her little moans and gasps for what they were. Elle would never scream in bed, but the first time she whispered his name in his ear during sex, he almost came right then. Her quiet added weight to the sounds she did allow herself to make, and Troy felt like he alone knew that secret.

He dipped a finger inside of her, just one, to feel her. Elle let him take her full weight as he did, leaning her back against his chest as she relaxed. Troy drew his finger in and out, over and over, tracing flush lips with her own wetness, tweaking the hard nub of her clit until he made her whimper. Her pleasure loomed closer and he sped up, feeling her clenching around his finger, his other hand constantly circling and bringing her closer. He felt her body tensing around his hand, teasing fluttering pulses out of her until they came in such quick succession that culminated in one long, unbroken shudder. He eased her through the quaking waves of aftershocks with gentle strokes until she became too sensitive and shied away from his touch.

She turned around in his embrace and Troy let her push him down into the pillows, stealing more than a few kisses on the journey downward. She kissed her way down his body, from his temple to his chin, down the centerline of his chest to his bellybutton. When she drew up, she was astride his waist, and he could feel her ready heat against him. It was enough to make him grit his teeth, so he focused his thoughts elsewhere. There were no lights on his bedroom, just the open door letting in the light from the other rooms, but he could see the glint of her smile, white teeth and lips shiny from kissing and traces of makeup beamed at him. It was a happier smile than he'd ever seen her give before, even when they were alone.

"I love you." Elle muttered the words the against his chest. She looked up at him, chuckling softly as she drawing swirls over his skin with the tip of her finger. "Now that I've said it once, I can't seem to stop."

"I love you, too." he said. There was more to it than that, so much more to the way he felt. He wanted to tell her that he loved her so long ago that he can't remember the exact moment and it wouldn't matter anyway, because it was before they slept together the second time in King's apartment. That once he loved her, he never wanted to do anything but protect her and though he was dreading her finding out the truth about him, it had gone far better than he'd ever dared to hope.

But he didn't say anything else, because she nudged her hips forward until they were almost perfectly aligned. It made his breath catch with the closeness of it, the way she knew just where to stop because they'd done it so many times before. He reached out a hand to his nightstand and fumbled around until the condoms he kept in the drawer presented themselves to his touch. Elle took it and put it on, sliding it down his length with a sure hand, kissing the head of his cock one last time before she covered it. He groaned and tried to still hips that wanted to surge up, eager to be inside of her.

She lifted one hip and guided him into her, the two of them letting out a shared sigh as she descended. When he was fully enveloped in her warmth, they both stayed perfectly still for the space of a breath. Then Elle fell forward onto his chest and he wrapped an arm around her, letting his palm open across the middle of her back as she worked them into a slow rhythm. It went like that, easy, just as their kisses had been once they'd hit the bedroom. Whatever urgency there was fell away under the simple spell of blissful, trusting contact.

When Troy shifted her, it was to be able to get at another angle. He could feel Elle firing back up, her languid ease lost as she readied for another climax. This one came from the sensuous build of friction between them, the kisses he'd been able to give as she slowly ground on top of him. Elle whimpered when he picked up his pace and he pulled back from their kiss to check in with her.

"You good?" he asked, the words stealing the breath from him.

"Mmm. Yeah, that's perfect. Just perfect, baby." she answered, then tensed around him as if to add an exclamation point to her words.

He was getting closer and they went faster, hard, quick thrusts. With her on top, he never fully withdrew and each push was deep inside of her, and Troy could feel her coming apart again. She came hard around him, nails digging half-moon crescents into his shoulders, back arching as Elle's low moan filled the room.

There wasn't any reason for him to hold back after that, and he didn't bother to try any longer. It wasn't long after she came that Troy felt that sweet moment of clarity, and he couldn't do anything but say her name as he lost control. He let the feeling overwhelm him without trying to hold anything back and bucked underneath Elle's slight weight. When he calmed, a sleepy, peacefulness washed over him, warm and content with her resting on his chest.

#

She went and finished the dinner, because she was fucking hungry, and let Troy sleep. He was only dozing, she knew, and would likely get up in a few minutes, but she didn't mind the solitude. In her haste to leave his room, she'd pulled on only her panties. There was a laundry basket full of folded laundry near the door to his pantry, and she pulled out a shirt from there. It had the Stilwater U logo emblazoned on the front.

Elle was reheating the food they'd abandoned and had poured herself a glass of wine when Troy came out of the bedroom. He was only wearing his boxer-briefs and had the disheveled look of happiness that seemed to always follow good sex. A lit cigarette adorned his hand and he took a pull on it as he came into the kitchen.

"The shirt looks good on you." he commented, sitting down at the table while she plated the food.

"Did you go there?" she asked, looking down at the logo again.

"Yeah. I have a degree in Criminal Justice and Psychology." he told her.

"You never mentioned it."

"Didn't make sense to say that while I was undercover." he said, smiling as she handed him a glass of wine, followed by a plate full of food. She nodded in understanding.

"I have a certificate in Early Childhood Education." Elle told him.

"You never used it to get a job?" he asked. His glass of wine was halted on the path to his mouth while he waited for her answer. He did a good job at keeping his surprise from his face, but could't hide it completely.

"Do you see many preschools in the Row? The best I could get was a job as a janitor at a school and even that didn't last."

Troy looked thoughtful as he took a sip of wine. "We could move someplace else, to a part of the city with better prospects for the type of job you want."

"Are you planning a future with me, detective?" Elle smiled at him across the small table.

"Yeah, I am. I thought that's what we were doing here tonight."

"It is, but we don't have to do it all at once. Eat your food." she said.

Troy laughed, "yes ma'am. Then what are we going to do?"

"We can always watch a movie in bed, see where the night takes us." She didn't want to plan anymore, didn't want to think. There had been too much worry and overthinking in the past few days. She could use a little mindlessness wrapped in Troy's arms, watching a movie.

#

**The day of the death of Mayor-Elect Richard Hughes**

The next morning the sun shone through the window and Elle was still in Troy's arms. With morning vigor, they reprised the previous night together. Afterwards, Troy took a shower and Elle flipped through the morning television shows, unable to fixate on anything for longer than a few minutes. Despite the relative ease of the morning, she was uneasy and all of her trepidation came from the meeting with Hughes on his boat. It was going down tonight, but Elle had reservations.

They must have shown on her face, because Troy sneaked up on her, half-dressed and still damp. An unlit cigarette hung from his lips. "What's up?" he asked.

"Don't want to go to talk to Hughes tonight."

"It won't be so bad. He just wants to throw his weight around. You listen and if he tries anything tell him you're working with the police now."

"Is that true?" Elle asked.

"Listen, I can't get hold of Julius, and a disappearing act makes him appear even more guilty. If you and Johnny stay low, it's all going to get pinned on the leader of the Saints. I hate that it ended up this way because I believed Julius did have good intentions, but he can't run from this, not when he started the Saints."

An idea formed in her mind, as she considered Troy's little speech. "Maybe I can talk to Aisha today, get her to convince Johnny to back down. He's going to be mad about the whole thing, especially if Julius goes down, but she might be able to keep him calm."

"Are they back together? I can't keep track."

Elle laughed. "Who knows? But she's smart and it's worth a try even if they aren't."

Troy hugged her to him, pressing her up against his bare chest. She could hear his heart beating, strong and steady. It calmed her frayed nerves, but not as much as one of his cigarettes would have. "You can do it. Talk to her, and tonight after you meet with the esteemed Alderman, come back here and we can figure everything out."

There was something in his insistence that they plan for the future, that strange urgency to plan out their future that let her know he wasn't as unaffected as he seemed. Troy was uneasy as well, but it was just manifesting differently - he wanted to keep her safe. It was almost charming, but it felt a little smothering too. Elle drew in a deep breath, trying to keep her head clear. She was happy with this, with him, but she didn't know what to do. Her relationships had been little more than just sex until Troy. Now he was talking future planning and she just wanted to breathe. It wasn't that she didn't want the same, she just felt like she needed more time to think.  He'd just opened up to her the night before, and she'd had to force that.  Then again, time wasn't on their side.  The police would come down hard soon on the Row, and he was just looking out for her.  If their roles were reversed, she'd do no less for him.

"Yeah. Let me just get through tonight."

"I have paperwork, but you know where your key is. Lock up when you're finished here and call me if you need anything."

"What should I do about the Saints in the church?" she asked. She didn't want all those people to go down or get caught up in some shit sitting around waiting for her.

"Nothing. Don't go there. Julius might be there and he could turn on you if you say anything."

"I never say anything." she said, and Troy laughed.

"I know. But stay on your guard." he told her. Then he added in an almost bashful voice, "I love you."

Elle smiled back at him. "I love you, too." she said. She had a feeling they were going to say it a lot these days, at least until the feeling of doom that surrounded them wore down to something manageable.

She kissed him goodbye at the door, a quick little kiss. The kind between people that expect to see each other again later. When she left, she'd showered and rebraided her hair, then locked the door behind her. The purse and makeup she left behind, and the fancy new clothes. She'd be back later.


End file.
